Arrival at Anchorage International
At bag check, Joseph and I had
to rearrange some stuff. The Alaskan Airlines Lady handling our process was
very nice and extremely effective at getting us through the process. We were
done and on our way in no time at all.
That’s a good thing because
there were a lot of people in line waiting on the one TSA representative
processing IDs that morning. The real problem for most of those in line was
that they had paid zero attention to the warnings to come early. I can’t tell
you how many people in line behind us had arrived with less than 30 minutes
until takeoff time. Their outlook on the problem was that it was somebody else fault that they were going to miss their flight. Joseph and I allowed
several of the less complainers to cut ahead of us without a problem—we had plenty of time
until our flight!
TSA Experience
Finally, we had made our way
to the head of the line. We processed straight through the ID check without a
problem. Not that this usually a problem, I’m just saying.
Little did we realize at the
time that this is where our trouble was to begin? The lines weren’t that long
in any of the four or so X-ray stations, so we chose one and began to ready
ourselves for the scans. Soon, we were at the head of the line and all our
stuff was on the conveyor for the scanner. When my time came, I advised the TSA
guy that I couldn’t hold both arms above my head for the full body scanner—I have no shoulder joint
on my left side. The right shoulder replacement still works sufficiently to
enable me to accomplish most of what I need to do, but not the left. The Doc
removed the left replacement last year and the entire left shoulder joint at
the same time—a
revised replacement operation was not successful.
TSA Response
The TSA guy handling my line
asked if I could do the old metal detector type. I acknowledged that that would
work fine, so here we go, moving forward. I walked straight through without a
beep; should be a piece of cake. I have half as much internal metal as I’ve had
for some 11 or so years now. That’s when everything began to turn south with
the plan. Even though south was our desired direction, the metaphorical south
was not our direction.
Times
are never dull when you travel with me and what comes with the neighborhood! I
think that sometimes the TSA likes to generate a laugh or two just to stay
awake. They musta been feeling pretty drowsy about the time I passed through
the metal detector. The TSA guy then swabbed my hands and ask me to stand by
while he got the swabs checked. The look on his face was priceless when he
obtained the reading from the machine.
I
had tested positive for explosive residue. The guy looked like he’d never had a
positive response, EVER! The look on his face translated to: “What do I do now?
What do I do if the guy (me) runs? What do I do if he makes a sudden move? I’m
NOT prepared!” Well, I was no more prepared than he was.
My
guy turned and ask for help. Soon a supervisor (lady) showed and started going
through ALL my stuff that was still on the conveyor. She laid everything out on
a table and wiped the stuff down with more swabs; one piece at a time and very meticulously.
All I could do is watch.
Another
TSA supervisor showed up and ask me if I was traveling with a caregiver. I
acknowledged affirmatively and pointed out my son Joseph who had just made his
way through the full body scanner and was re-belting and putting on his boots.
A couple of agents immediately headed his direction. Myself, I’m still not
worried and had never thought, up to this point, that this would go much
further—I‘m willingly complying with their every request. I
know there’s not one reason in the world that I have recently handled any
explosive material of any nature. This can’t go much further. Well, it did!
TSA Help???
One
of the TSA agents in the area walks up to me and asks where I’m from. I tell
him: “I’m here to see the Iditarod start from Austin, Texas.”
He
states: “I’m from San Antonio.”
I
reply: “Great! Nice to meet you.” I’m still not worried and playing along with
what’s happening. He continues to banter back and forth with me about having
done 20 years in Air Force MPs, how he spent time in England, he’s currently on
a one year tour with the TSA in Anchorage and will soon be returning to San
Antonio.
The
new supervisor that had recently arrived ask me to step into a small room that
was just off the inspection line. He, I and the San Antonio guy move into the
room. I know now that we are dealing with the unusual and I become more cognizant
of what I’m saying and doing. They explain that I’m about to be patted down;
this time more intimately than maybe ever before. I agree to the procedure;
what else could I do at the time?
Situation gets Serious!
I realized that I was half way
to Guantanamo because the TSA likely had a dirty explosive residue detector and
it decided to single me out for something other than what I am. I thought I
might not ever see Texas or daylight ever again! These guys were serious.
San Antonio just kept up his
banter, one question after another. At this point I also realized that he was
probing for information; asking what seemed as innocuous questions and looking
for answers that might not fit the mold. I became very cautious of how I responded.
All the while my son is on the
outside (probably being watched as closely as I am being patted down; well,
maybe not that closely!) and posting to Facebook: “He
came up positive for bomb residue. They checked me too because he pointed me
out as his care giver. Always an adventure going through airport
security with my dad. All of his carry-ons, including shoes and belt were
tested positive for chemical residue and now he has been taken in to the little
room to be searched.” This, of course, lets the followers back home in on what’s
going on and stirs the pot just a bit; exciting some more than others.
James J. Wheeler
Shifty look will get you screened every time!
Gwen Guest Bruchez
OH my gosh! Unbelievable. Scary, too!
Mary
Murdoch Turney I was afraid the Class of '65 was
going to have to jump into action.....
John French No wonder Patsy Lynn stayed home...with two BLOOD
Hatfields. ..no telling!!!
Jerry
Nance Police psychologists have a field day with
Howard's appearance, speech, eye contact, mannerisms, etc. We know that they
are not supposed to profile, but.
Mandy Dillon Scott
Did you escape?
Stephanie
Hatfield Winters Runs in the family, happens to
me every time.
Mary
Murdoch Turney Maybe, it is that Hatfield-McCoy
thing
John French I thought Joe Pat was teasing....and you were playing
along...are you SERIOUS???
Ruth
Yeager Did you wave to the giant polar bear?
Cynthia Allen Don't you think we just look like a couple of terrorist?
Jennifer Sosolik
Vernon Oh no. Very scary.
Janice Albert Too much excitement. Your Alaska trip seemed so perfect
until the flight back home.
Of course, I knew nothing of
the foregoing. I was still in custody and being thoroughly patted, sometimes
twice in the same area. They could not find anything anywhere. Well, they found
something but it had nothing to do with what they were looking for. As closely
as they patted, they were bound to find attachments they weren’t feeling for.
Conclusion
After about twenty minutes of
looking and patting, they decided that they had seen, heard and felt enough.
Now it was my turn.
I questioned them extensively.
What could have caused the reaction to explosive residue? I had not been
anywhere near anything for months that could cause me this attention. They didn’t
have an answer. They suggested multiple sources that were potential culprits,
none of which made any sense. If they don’t have any better answers than they
gave me; we’re in a lot of trouble with the machines they use—dependable, THEIR not!
I
got a clean bill of health after 20 minutes or so, was released back to my
goodsand allowed to continue my trip.
The laughter, at my expense,
continued on the web (primarily Facebook).
Jerry
Nance Foiled again. You live to tell the story
just like "The Roadrunner".
Joe Hatfield Chemical analysis came back negative, he has been
released.
My response to the entire episode was: John Howard
Hatfield No scare. I had them outnumbered!
Joseph and I headed for our
gate to await our flight to Seattle, stopping on the way to get a lunch
sandwich. We were now headed back to Texas on what amounts to the red-eye; not
scheduled to arrive back at DFW until after 0530 the next morning.
We had a great trip and
enjoyed most every minute of it; give or take a few.
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