UPDATE - useless devices from the backyard

After the rains this pas Saturday—I’m guessing that was what we received; hadn’t seen anything like it in several months—and after the water level in the backyard had resided, the pups and I ventured out back there to determine if we needed to apply for some form of federal disaster aid—a tough choice to make; there’s just so many different categories and so much money to choose from.

While out there, I thought I might take a look and see how those useless devices I reported on last month had weathered the storm. The most of them fared pretty well—no federal aid money to be made there unless I can come up with some sort of  natural disaster failure to remove backyard clutter—I probably oughta look and see if I can find a federal agency that specifically handles problems of this nature. I’m sure the Democrats have one; it’s just a matter of finding the agency.

Well, at any rate, in my final check, the last device I came across seemed to have taken on a task of its own. I’m still not sure that my assessment of its ability to function as a spider trap—not with the amount of liquid it had managed to store up. No self-respectin’ spider is gonna get itself caught in that mess.

This sent me to wondering again—maybe my original idea was completely off point. What could it be?

Puttin’ the ole grey matter in gear, I began to ponder:

• Maybe it’s a substitute bird watering hole

• Could it be a mosquiter breedin’ device—that seemed fairly plausible

• How about a knat swimmin’ pool

I wasn’t getting anywhere; all good ideas, but they just didn’t seem to be the solution.

Standing there while I crunched the brain cells, it began to dawn on me that I was closing in on real trouble. The pups had continued there quest of backyard relief—they’d been cooped up for some time and not allowed out. As they churned up the mud and what little grass remains, I realized that my wife wasn’t gonna let them back inside without some form of cleaning, washing, or scrubbing. They were beginning to look pretty bad; Gus not so much—he doesn’t like to get wet for any reason; but Otis is another matter entirely. He has no fear of  water unless it’s in the form of a bath. Otis will get as dirty as dirty will comply with his need, desires or devious humor.

I knew I was gonna be in as much trouble as they would soon be.

That’s when it dawned on me. The device in question was one of the most ingenuous device ever invented by man to keep man outta trouble.  Its entire purpose seems to be to alert man—prior to ever venturing out the back door—to the mud level in the immediate area of his intended roaming. I’m thinkin’ bout getting one for the front yard as soon as Home Depot opens up.

6 reasons why Austin’s Stage 2 water restrictions will not work

Otis (my baby puppy—8 days short of 1 year) woke me up this morning to go outside at 0423 hrs. He usually gets Patsy up at that time, but she’s outta town doing Strategic Planning for her position at the credit union, so it was my turn to take the early shift.

Gus (the older of the two—he’s 2 years & 8 months) came with us to supervise I guess.

At any rate, there I sat on the deck steps while the two of them ran around the yard hither and yon as dogs do. There was some noise that shouldn’t have been there at that time of the morning—there shouldn’t be any noise at 0423 hrs in the morning in the pitch black out-of-doors. The pups gave the racket some notice but eventually let it go as not any of their concern.

I recognized the noise right away. There was no doubt what it was and where it came from. Yep, the neighbors were watering their yard. They have a sprinkler system which makes it easy to do so at 0423 hrs in the morning. There might have been more than one of them doing so but at 0423 hrs, I wasn’t gonna go check to see.

Let me describe my cul-de-sac to you.: most of the houses have an underground sprinkler system. Of the seven houses, only two don’t: mine and one other. They all got them on the cheap—a friend of a friend kind of deal. Of the seven houses in the cul-de-sac and the two facing the entrance only two no longer have any grass in the front yards. Both of these two, as far as I can tell, have rigidly complied with the City’s watering restrictions: only watering two days a week originally and now only one day a week. These two yards are now almost completely grassless. The other yards are lush and green.

The lush and green yards have nothing to do with the sprinkler systems however—it’s all about following the rules. If ya follow—ya got no grass; if ya don’t follow—ya got grass. The house without the system that has grass tends to water three or four days a week; even outside the restricted times: before 10 AM and after 7 PM.

The current rules (under stage 2 restrictions) allow odd number residences to water on Saturday and even numbered residences to water on Sundays. Of course hand watering is allowed any day of the week—but why hand water if ya got a sprinkler system?

Oh, I almost forgot! What are the 6 reasons why Austin’s Stage 2 water restrictions will not work?

1 – Monday

2 – Tuesday

3 – Wednesday

4 – Thursday

5 – Friday

6 – Saturday or Sunday (depending on your assigned watering day)

I guess come spring I will fork over the money to have the yard xeriscaped or concreted. Maybe I should clandestinely cut there source of moisture every night and stop this foolishness at the source.

You got any ideas on how to go about this?

Why the Nice morning in Austin, TX and where did these hummingbirds come from?

The temperature in Austin is 66ºF. Perfect for a stroll around the neighborhood with the pups (actually we do it everyday, but today was special). Thinking we may never see this temp again within our lifetimes, we spent a little longer in the park watching the birds and the kids getting off to school. Got back home and moved our whole operation to the back deck. The hummingbirds are here already and a load of blue jays making racket in the area.

Billy Joe is back again this year

Still a little early in morning light for their best colors.

Some time he sits and guzzles instead of hovering.

Long cool (??) drinks.

He will go to both feeders and try to protect them from all the other hummers.

4 Useless devices in the backyard

I know I am getting older; heck it’s obvious. It hurts to do just about anything, especially if it requires the movement of my appendages—any or all of them.

As I was coming back inside yesterday afternoon upon completion of a game of retrieve the bird with my pups, Little Gus & Otis, I noticed a device laying by the back door that I could not for the life of me remember why I had it or why it was where it was.

But there it lay. Right in front of the back screen door. It seemed to be a leaf specimen collector. What do I do with the leaves once I get them collected. I’m not about to catalog a bunch of leaves and anyway; once I had them cataloged, then what do I do? I’ve just been stepping over it or walking around it for so long now, I can’t remember why.

Off to the left were some objects that resembled the chairs that we use inside the house. These objects seemed to be collecting leaves also—I remind you here of my argument above. They could be chairs for lounging outside but we haven’t done that in some time. I guess we stopped about the same time that the weather started hitting 100+ºF or more—ya just can’t sit out there in that heat. Maybe I should put them away for the winter; you know we have some pretty tough winters around here. But wait! What if we have a fall this year? Might I need them that week? I guess I will leave them out for the time being.

Oh! There’s that swing over there. I faintly remember what that does. We used to sit in it with the grand kids when they visit. The heat has kept them away from Austin this year. It seems to be cooler up in North Texas—boy they’re some lucky son-of-a-guns up there.

I walked back out in the yard to see what was setting on the fence my neighbor and I share—it keeps us from doing battle over the little rat dog they have. That rat keeps my two pups stirred up all the time. They have never seen the rat, but they instinctively know that they shouldn’t like it. The device that is attached to the fence looks to be the most useless device of all the devices that I probably own. It seems to be a spider trap. Now, like in the case of the leaves—you remember those leaves I mentioned earlier—I have absolutely no use for spiders or know anywhere I could sell (or donate) a gaggle of spiders should I be able to trap them in that gal-darned trap.

I stood scratching my head for a moment until it became way to hot to be standing out in the middle of the yard in the 100+ºF heat so I decided to go inside and come back out about 2 AM—it’s a lot cooler at 2 AM—and try to make heads or tails of these contraptions. They must have some use, but danged if I can remember what it might be.