Strain Capital Leverages Clause International Ltd

My mind tends to wander when not engaged. I’m sorry, but this is where it went overnight.

We have seen the very last of Santa Claus deliveries on Christmas Eve, at least for the near future. This afternoon, the Director of International Acquisitions and Operations for Strain Capital, Semore Layoffs, announced the leveraged buyout of Santa Claus International, Ltd. The oldest continuously operated family enterprise and located at the North Pole has fallen on tough times as of late.

R. R. Reindeer, the official spokesman for Claus stated in a press release just last week that the shrinking of pack ice due to global warning has reduced the availability of inexpensive labor in the region. The operation has had to import workers from regions outside the regular commute, paying expenses as well, and now sees profit margins dwindling.

The company is now scheduled for a complete overhaul—the usual result for a Strain Capital acquisition. Layoffs stated that several major changes are in order starting immediately after the completion of this holiday season’s delivery schedule.

Advance personnel are already reconnoitering sites at the more-stable South Pole and the move will begin on 26 Dec 12. The first of the major changes will be accomplished fairly easily due to the current administration’s cut back in funding of the sciences—those guys in D.C. are looking to cut all social spending. The availability of adequate shelter at the South Pole will expedite the move to new facilities.

Then the big challenge begins. Where will Strain find labor? Several colonies numbering in the hundreds of thousands make their home in the area, but are mostly unskilled labor. “We all realize the obstacle that brings,” Layoffs says: “but they have met this challenge before and sees no real problem overcoming it.”

The seasonal change to a new delivery date seems to be the largest problem facing Strain and its management team. The 25 December delivery date is expected to shift to 21 June—the shortest night of the year. Semore indicated that the new date fits nicely with the organizations goal of efficiency improvements. “We don’t need a long night to get deliveries made.”

The manufacturing schedule will be augments wit temporary workers and Black Friday will be moved to the American holiday Memorial Day—lobbyist are already in place working on legislative action to reschedule Memorial Day from a Monday to a Friday holiday. “OK, we know it’s a purely American holiday and we know we are going to get pushback in this area, but get over it Germany and Great Britain!” Layoffs was quoted as saying.

Layoffs went on to point out that the increased efficiency they believe they will gain by outsourcing delivery from the tried and true reindeer powered vehicle to conveniently established organizations and a newly developing franchise in the Far East with costs will diminishing quickly.

Current plans call for the Western Hemisphere deliveries to be divided UPS and FedEx with the senior firm, UPS, being allocated the northern half and FedEx getting the southern half. These two firms have proven that they can accomplish overnight exactly what is needed to reign in costs and insure deliverability. In an abrupt and unexpected move, a niche market was cut out and allocated to the United States Post Office. The District of Columbia seems to deserve special handling—it is note quite sure the overnight schedule will be met here, but this is the current plan—maybe they deserve a little less attention than the rest; it sure seems that they have paid in kind to their constituents.

A bold plan seems to be in order for the Western Hemisphere where a start-up company, ChiEx will assume the load for this region. ChiEx has plans on the table for some interesting approaches planned to meet the overnight market and continued operations throughout the remainder of the delivery market that now exists as a very slipshod situation.

With enormous resources available—let’s just say billions here—at minimum costs, ChiEx plans to reallocate assets hemisphere wide. One of the unique approaches is the human chain where the organization will stretch out hordes of humanity from all the major population centers to the country sides and deliver small to medium packages by hand. A second approach revealed just lately is the three-person rickshaw. Utilizing two runners and a jump seat allowing the third operator to rest in turn increases the usual stamina associated with this mode of transportation two to three fold. The new mode of transportation—currently labeled the Thrickshaw—is believed to be the preferred method for the larger requirements. No images are available of the Thrickshaw were available as yet but it is believed to be a modern and sleek upgrade to current models available on regular markets.

The entire market seems to be wide open for opportunities and improvements. The biggest question remains to be the ability of Strain to complete the turnaround in the small window the plan calls for. Markets will be watching closely, as will the delivery receiving public.

My Money returns and a Raise also!

I recently had the opportunity to sign up for Social Security. It was very easy; all online and not one problem. The checks started hitting my account down at the credit union almost immediately and have so for a couple of months.

The guys down at the credit union called and ask if I would like to come down and see my money, What a treat! I took them up on the offer and went down and gave the cash a look.

I was dumb founded! I actually recognized some of the bills laying there in my account. I hadn't seen them since some time in the early 70s, but I recognized them. It was like old home week. We sat there and commiserated with each other over the journey each had taken over the years.

I go back after each deposit and check out the cash. Still recognizing some of them but nothing from the 80s yet.

So, I been with this Social Security System for just a short time and low and behold I get great news. I got a raise after such a short time.

I tell my wife, with a great big smile on my face, "I got a 1.7% raise!" She, being the ever encouraging Human Resource professional she is replied: "What? Only 1.7%. The national average is 3.5%."

The wind left my sails immediately. Any more good news from my System buddies, I'm gonna keep to myself.

Mukluk Central

It seem that this blog has become Mukluk Central. Anybody and everybody wanting to know anything about making mukluks has found it lately.

Last night I received the 15^th request for my copy of Making Mukluks And Mittens With Fur. As far as I can determine, the State of Alaska has stopped printing this pamphlet and I may have the only copy still in existence—other than those who I have provided a copy when requested.

Making Mukluks and Mittens With Fur

Now, besides requesting a copy of the pamphlet, I am being ask to provide information on hides. I used to have a couple of Beaver pelts out in the garage but my hardhearted wife made me dispose of them some time back—she’s like that sometimes. I had those pelts from way back in February of 1972 when I had purchased them at the street auction at the Anchorage Fur Rendezvous—a long time ago, but no more.

I don’t have the opportunity to do much hunting any more—maybe the best I might be able to offer up is my backyard squirrel, Toby. But if I somehow manage to capture Toby just what would I do for a back yard squirrel. I betcha that his nest up in the top of the big elm out back would be hard to find a renter for—it’s pretty a good sized nest and might suit a family of squirrels.

Toby, the only squirrel in Texas

I have convinced my grand kids that there is only one squirrel in Texas, Toby that is. When they happen to see more than one squirrel at a time, I have planted the notion in there minds that the problem exists with the vision and their brain: “Ya see, I tell them. Your brain is not processing light into and out of both eyes appropriately. The second squirrel you see is actually where Toby was in the near past.”

So if a family of squirrels moves into Toby’s nest, how will I be able to explain the new squatters to the grand kids? To much for me to think of right now so I’ll just have to pass on providing hides to those requesting them. Well at least for now.

Grand Kid’s Visit

Alison and Gavin ask to come back with us last Saturday—we were up in McKinney for daughter’s (Stephanie Winters) high school theatre class’s presentation of Little Shop of Horrors—staying the entire week.

We try to fill the time with adventure and educational stuff; but sometimes they find things to do on their own that amaze the older group attending. For instance, Gavin didn’t even know until Sunday afternoon that he could handle the monkey bars and here it is Monday and he’s chasing his sister:

 

Planning adventures for each day is fairly easy but sometimes the adventures take an unexpected twist and they do just fine on their own!

Grand Kids; don’t you just love them?

Now what? The election is over and nothing changed!

So where do we go now? More than $2 Billion dollars later and nothing has changed. The Democrats still have the White House plus the Senate and the Republicans still have the House. Other than a couple of scallywags who don’t understand what Rape is; most everybody is exactly where they were when we started.

So what’s missing from the equation?

Well, I’ll tell you what’s missing!

One word sums it all up—Compromise. The art of compromise has escaped every living individual in the city of Washington D. C.

How can that be? After all, Washington D.C. is the original Great Compromise. Has this fact been lost on the brethren that work there now?

At 57 Maiden Lane in New York City—the home of Thomas Jefferson, in the year 1790; 222 years ago—a meeting took place that solved the two biggest problems haunting the nation as a result of the recently won Revolutionary War. The first problem was where to establish the new seat of government—in the north or in the south—neither open for debate by either side. The second was the question of the war debt owed by the south to the north—a rather hefty sum.

Jefferson, the Secretary of State, thought he could bring together the two sides and solve the problem and this he suggested to Washington. Alexander Hamilton, the Secretary of the Treasury, was pitted in a battle with James Madison over both issues. There remains some doubt that Madison was at the forefront of the argument with what we now know about his collaboration with Jefferson but nonetheless Madison was the opposition leader.

Civility has never been a strong suit in D.C. but there is little doubt that there has never been any two leaders that so thoroughly despised each other more than Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton—no democrat and republican can come close to matching this hatred today.

In any event, Jefferson invited the two, Hamilton and Madison, to dinner at his house. The current seat of government was in New York City, a bitter pill to all southerners and the continuous ragging about the war debt did not help the situation.

Over dinner and a little wine (no beer summit this) a compromise suggested by Jefferson was established that located the new capitol at a site that incorporated both the north and the south—with the Potomac River intersecting the district—and the payment of a sum for the Pennsylvania and Potomac land that coincidentally matched exactly the war debt of the south $21.5 million dollars.

Thus both birds in the bush were killed with a single bullet.

A history lesson is in order for Inauguration Day. The entire crew, The President, the Senate and the House of Representatives should be forced to review the original Great Compromise and just maybe they should take an exam on the subject and those not posting a sufficient grade proving their understanding sent home and replaced by someone who does understand.

Have you tried an Outhouse lately?

Well, have you?

Just the other evening one of my stories was being read during my writers’ group meeting. Actually it was Kelly reading—I love to hear Kelly read my stuff. At any rate, the story contained several references to outhouses and the comment was made something to the effect “You just might be slighting those of us that aren’t outhouse aficionados.”

I had never considered the fact that not everybody had experienced the outhouse adventure. Only one other in the group had ever ventured inside an old country crescent moon operation. Oh sure, most of them had a port-a-let experience or two, but not the outhouse of days gone by.

Not having a current pix to share, I obtained this one from a public domain.

I guess I give away my age when I can report that at one time this style of movement operating adventures was common place. Now I’m not reporting that I grew up in this environment; but I will say that I routinely came across this adventure maybe just a little more than the rest.

I feel a little sorry for my colleagues that haven’t had this experience; whether it be just out back behind the house, off to the side of a cotton patch or one of those Tishomingo, Mississippi[i] or Snook, Texas[ii] operations that I most frequented during my youth—I will not say the pleasure was all mine—at times they were the only game in town.

The facility was not anything like those referenced above. The outhouse in question was erected on the drop zone west of Fort Greely, Alaska and didn’t have the accompanying odor problem that routinely is associated with that rural southern type of facility. The reason for the lack of odoriferous content is because the aroma generally associated with outdoor facilities is astonishingly done-in by the extreme elements of the Alaskan winter weather fairly immediately. Just about everything freezes amazingly quick in these conditions. My experience reminds me that this phenomena starts to take place somewhere close to -30ºF.

However my experience that day in question took place at a temperature some  50ºs south of the -30ºF mark—but I will save that story for another time. I will say, it was a trip that I will never forget.

So, I am at a loss for the appropriate advice when it comes to getting today’s world acquainted with the outhouse of the days-gone-by. You’ll just have to search out your own opportunities.

This is one of those experiences that you have to have on your own—not a single soul can do it justice. I guess its all up to you.

If you, on the other hand are an expert in this area; I welcome your comments.

---

[i] Tishomingo, Mississippi is about as far as you can go in the northeast corner of Mississippi. In fact, it is so far into the corner there that it just might be in Alabama. At any rate, I came across a rural outhouse there in the summer of 1965 that tied for the second most foul order I have ever come across. Its mate at number two is probably an Army portolet at Oak Grove, North Carolina that had to be at least two or three days past due on its pumping schedule.

[ii] The foulest smell, by far, I encountered in Snook, Texas when I was just a lad of twelve. My Dad had high jacked me to attend a community BBQ with him in the community of Snook. The activity was being held in a pasture just off the main street of Snook. The only public facility, as far as I could determine, was a four-holer, separated by a wall (two on one side and another two on the other) dividing the activity between men and women. This was absolutely the worst smell that I ever came across in my entire life – very bad, man!

Immigration deportation hold vs. Vets claims processing

I’m not sure exactly where I stand on this illegal deportation hold executive order released by the current administration in D.C. The strict conservative in me says: ”Hold up there; is this right?” The kind hearted soul that I am says: “They didn’t cause this mess; cut them some slack!”

But here’s the rub.

The other day there was a report in the New York Times stating that “More than 82,000 illegal immigrants have applied for a two-year reprieve from deportation in the first 30 working days of an Obama administration program, and 29 (thousand) have been approved, officials from the Department of Homeland Security said on Friday.” http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/15/us/us-cites-fast-pace-on-reprieves-for-young-illegal-immigrants.html?_r=1

That’s a little over 35% claim clearing efficiency. Additionally “63,000 applicants had already been scheduled to have fingerprints and photographs taken for a criminal background check, the second step in the process.”

What’s more, “Officials had originally predicted it could take several months after they began receiving applications on Aug. 15 for the first immigrants to be approved.

Only several months to get these claims cleared? Just where did this efficiency come from?

On the other hand, I find this report from the same New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/13/us/13backlog.html?pagewanted=all&_moc.semityn.www

 “Nearly 18 months went by before the Department of Veterans Affairs granted his claim late last month”

and

“the vast majority of the 82,000 claims the department received each month were not from veterans returning from the current wars. “We’re still getting a lot of Vietnam vets,”

But the stated VA Goal is “is to process all disability claims within 125 days, at a 98 percent accuracy level, and eliminate the claims backlog in 2015” and “All 56 VBA regional offices will be operating under the new organizational model by the end of 2013”

Then there’s the report in USA Today http://www.usatoday.com/news/military/story/2012-07-17/veterans-disability-claims-backlog/56282042/1 that states:

"Despite unprecedented (Veterans Benefits Administration) claims production — completing over 1 million claims each year for the last two years — VA's backlog has grown,"

“As of mid-June, the VA had 870,000 pending cases; and 66% had been pending more than 125 days, according to a special analysis of data cited by Hickey. At the same time last year, the VA was dealing with more than 836,000 claims, with 59% pending more than 125 days, according to data on the VA's website. The VA has set a goal of processing all claims in fewer than 125 days by 2015.”

Now I ask you; just where is the disconnect between the Current Administration’s handling of these two important topics? Is one more important than the other? Regardless of how you sympathize with the immigration issue; don’t we owe some priority to those who have fought and served us in the past as well as being ready to support those currently serving and fighting for us currently?

It seems that the current administration feels that helping the illegal issue is more important than providing for our Vets—sure seems that way to me.

Compare the 35% claim efficiency rate established above; just since 15 August—36+ days back—and the expected finish date of only several months—let’s say 90 days.

Extrapolating the same claim efficiency rate to the number of backlogged Veteran cases, the VA could clear some 304,500 claims in the same period. That’s more than 300 thousand vets better off by the turn of the year—not sometime in 2015.

How ‘bout we put the effort where it’s deserved or as a minimum get these claims people working one Vet case for every one immigrant case? Fair is fair!