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Wednesday, January 4, 2012

1 sided cell phone calls

Hello! Have I got the War Department?

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Could ya connect me with Plans and Operations?

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Plans and Ops, I have a question ‘bout today’s operation.

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No Sarge! I want to talk with the officer in charge. Please put him on and be double quick about it!

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Hello! Are you the guy who wrote today’s op order?

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OK, I’ve got the guy I wanta talk to. I have several immediate questions.

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No, no. I’m out here in Montana. I’m not in Afghanistan somewhere with what did you say the Taliban? Give me the guy in charge of the Montana operations order!

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Hello! Are you the guy who wrote today’s op order?

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I see in paragraph number 1 that the enemy force estimate says there might be light opposition. Man, do you have any idea just how many Indians there are out here?

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Well, let me tell you; there are a whole hell’ava lot more than light enemy action Indians out here. They’re everywhere!

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I don’t know where you got your intel, but mine is first hand and I’m telling you there’s a hell’ava lot of Indians out here today.

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Have you heard from Reno?

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I’ve lost contact. He shoulda been here hours ago!

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What’s the chance you could send in the Immediate Reaction force? They aren’t in contact are they?

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What? They aren’t available! What good do you think the Mississippi national Guard will do me in the next thirty to forty minutes?

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Hold on a second, I gotta say somethin’ to Charlie.

Watch out Charlie! Oops, too late!

Say Ops, just how many Survivor Assistance Officers do you have on call today?

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I’m ‘athinkin’ you’re gonna need to get some more ready!

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No Major, I mean a lot more than that!

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Hold on another second, I gotta………

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